Sunday, January 18, 2009
It was three years yesterday that you died. I found a small spiritualist church and did my best to sing with joy.
The minister said she had a message for me, that the fog would soon lift and all would be clear. But what I really wanted to hear was that you were still near.
I asked the angels to send me a sign. I asked for a hawk, for I don't see them much any more.
I sat in the sun and waited. I sat so still and meditated.
I heard the woodpecker knock, I heard the birds sing. But no sign of you and still no hawk.
It was time to move on, I got in the car and started my way back up the winding road.
That's when I saw it, then another, then one more. Swooping and gliding in the sky, three hawks so beautiful, I had to cry.
So I guess you are still with me after all, there when I 'm falling apart and there to break my fall. I know I must do better and I really do try.
It's just that I miss you so terribly and have found it hard to move on.
But this year will be different, I promise you that, for I am stronger now and ready to follow my heart.
And the next time I start missing you and getting down, I will do my best instead of tears, to honour you with a joyous song.